Insurance Guy From Hell

When the dead ringer for Ross on Friends showed up after the kitchen fire, he looked well put together and fairly competent. His evening call from the night before was a bit hyper and all over the place, but it was 930pm and he was holding his infant son. I gave him the benefit of the doubt. Turns out the call was his mild side. I felt like I was in a bad torment game of "anytime you open your mouth to speak, I will immediately start speaking louder and never actually hear anything you have to say".

I called him yesterday at 10 am with information I was to get to him. His return call was this morning at 7am. He wanted to get the stove replacement check in my hands so I could get this taken care of immediately. He lives about 3 miles from me. Shouldn't be too difficult, right? WRONG!!!!

I was able to get in the words "husband finishes work at 330", after about 30 minutes of endless and meaningless rambling on his end. He then requests Bob's cell phone number so that they can meet up, but interupts me trying to give it to him with more endless rambling. Somehow between getting the number and his neverending babble, he comes out with, "So, I could just drop it in the mail, but that would be two days, snail mail, okay,let me see here, how much did you incur in expense not having it, I will not be mobile til after lunch," ............................and on and on. There is never a pause to answer a question he has directed at me, he just keeps talking. HUH??? Now it is going in the mail?

This leads me to tell him that my parents live 3 blocks from him, could he drop it there? This starts a new rambling session for another 30 minutes..."who will be home, names, phone number?" Then he gives his famous timeline ( as in I will call you back between 9 and 10 in the morning, calls back at 8pm or I will be at your home between 12 and 1, arrives after 4 pm). Between noon and 3pm. Sorry, Mom, you should see him 'bout 6ish. And just a small tip. Take the check, fake a need to vomit and RUN!!

So, one week later, we have nothing replaced and nothing accomplished at all. The contractor has not called back with the estimate that was to be given to us on Monday. The trauma of the fire is starting to dim finally, but I may need several hours of therapy over the aftermath. ***sigh***