Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Can I Just Talk to a Human..Please!!??!!

While in the process of both moving and dealing with an insurance claim after the kitchen fire, I realize that talking to a human about any question or concern has become almost impossible. This is putting my stress level on dangerously high.

The insurance guy from hell now has 5 messages, the contractor has 6 and it has become quite common for me to spend an hour a day on hold with numerous utility companies. All I want are some answers to if the estimate was approved and when that work may start. That seemed like a reasonable request when I left the first two messages. Now I feel like a phone stalker, pain in the ass. I think they purposely ignore messages to build a case against you. "She called daily harassing my machine with the same question. I think you can see she sounds more annoyed and aggitated as time passes. I fear for my safety at this point.". (Maybe you should, asshole!!)

I called to inquire about changing some ulitities, what installations would run and what transfer fees would roughly cost me. You always start at the main menu that seems to have just the option you are calling about, but after you press that, you get into some other dimension that gets way more specific and nothing seems to really fit. You press the number for what seems closest to what you want and get ten more options that are now completely wrong. The last option is always to return to the main menu, while the option you never get anymore is"press this to talk to a freakin' human!"

Soon you are at square one, the main menu, trying again. At some point I just get frustrated and start pressing anything til I confuse it into letting me have a customer service representative. I hear Gaundi asking me to confirm my name, address, social security number, account number, date of last period and so on. I feel all relieved even though I cannot really understand a word he is saying. So I begin telling him the whole problem and/or question. He then informs me I need to talk to another department and will be "berry happy" to transfer me. I hear the click followed by the all too familiar voice of the lady robot on (shaking in horror) the MAIN MENU!!!

And so another day without the entire use of my kitchen. I miss scrambled eggs, linguine, mashed potaotes and other stovetop delights, but more than anything I miss those bitchy, old hags that used to directly answer the customer service lines back in the good ol' days.


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