Friday, March 17, 2006

Misty Water-colored Memories..............

The falling asleep early has ended. I should be tired, and maybe underneath all the tears, there is "tired". The tears are not for regret, just for something forever changed.

I'm a sap. I am an emotional person when it comes to certain things and this qualifies. I am looking at my scenery, that I have lived in for eight years, for the last time tonight. A place where I watched a not so tall, skinny 11 year old grow into a 200 pound, 6'4", 19 year old, where a 9 year old that rode anything with wheels is now a year into his driver's license, where a little 5 year old girl used to dance in the living room for hours, but at 13, instead sits chatting online for hours and where my 3 year old was born into the only house she's even known.

There were so many hard times here, mostly financial, but so many good times too. It is the good times I am thinking about tonight, for the most part. The Christmas mornings, birthday parties, and just the times when we all sat around the living room laughing, fighting, remembering old times and just being together.

It is hard to leave home. Especially when you didn't always foresee it coming. It is hard to imagine that in future years we will say "Remember when this happened, in our "old house on 8th Street". Someone else will live here now and make their own memories in our home. That will be hard until the new house becomes "our home". There is no way to predict when that will take place,it seems to just creep up on you after a long, busy day of running. You say, "I just want to go home"...for awhile you secretly think of the old house, but then, out of nowhere, one day you say it and you mean the new one. You walk your tired, worn out body thru the front door, you look at your surroundings, sink into your couch or bed and get this secure, warm feeling, like "It's so great to be home....".

It is also a fresh start with many good things and great memories to create, there is so much to look forward to and I will eventually see it, as soon as I am ready to stop looking backwards...but not just yet.

So, it's the laughter, we will remember....................

Yup, total sap.


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