Thursday, June 01, 2006

Why Being A Grown Up Sucks.

You can't do kid stuff that would be considered normal for them, but completely "weird" for 39 year olds, like doing flips, rolling down hills, swinging higher than any other snot-nosed, little brat in the park or crying hysterically in public. Well, there are a few exceptions..you can use a small child to act as a "play buddy" and do the first three, the fourth, well you may be carried off in a straight jacket.

You have to be the sensible one. You have to stop arguements that have nothing to do with you, save money to pay the bills instead of blowing it on cool clothes and toys for all ages, not only get yourself to sleep but everyone else because you know better, and you can't say mean stuff to your kids that end with "nah nah nah nah nah!" or that straight jacket thing may come into play..again.

When someone gets sick, you have to be the caregiver, vomit cleaner, and fluid retriever. When you get sick though, you still have to be all those things for yourself.

You have to have a grown up job and/or also be a homemaker, daycare provider, maid, personal shopper, and appointment scheduler. (That is just the short list)

You can't leave mid-day to go play with your friends. Playing with your friends now requires finding a day that works for everyone, finding a babysitter, and finding the strength to actually go.

If you get married, you can't even date anymore. It is just that same person, all the time, every day for years and years and they are so annoying and they make weird noises when they sleep, so you have to sleep on the couch and the couch is hurting your neck and you shutter at the thought of them 90% of the time and it is just so , soooooo, ah, blah and icky.

Your parents still say the same things to you as a grown up that get under your skin and insult you and make you feel like a whiny 10 year old in a way past 10 year old body. They blame you for everything that is wrong with you and then blame you for anything is wrong with your kids and somehow they come out all, like, blameless. No matter what age, they still have this way of getting to you even though you tell yourself you are all grown up now and f that noise, but that noise still sucks.

People expect too much of you and while it is perfectly acceptable for your kids to lay on their asses doing nothing, when you want to do the same, the whole house is all on your case about make me this, is that clean, take care of all this other shit and what gives you the right to relax, slave??

You never get a day off. You can't play hookie from your obligations anymore, like you could as a kid by skipping school or faking sick. If you skip anything or are even actually sick, the work somehow multiplies.

Your friends move away and go to bigger and better places and they are no longer at your constant access to call about every little thing that happens and every little thing that happens is just the same shit that happened yesterday anyway.

You lose touch with those same friends and you miss them and wish they lived nextdoor, like you always planned when you were naive, little girls. You grieve for the life you planned, when anything seemed possible.

You become bitter and resentful and write depressing posts about why being a grown up sucks.

Then you get up to go do some laundry, straighten up the house and you just shake it off............again.

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