The Problem with Greeting Cards

I sit at the half way mark of another non-productive day of following toddler orders and thinking a bit too much about, well, everything.

I had a dream I was pregnant last night, and though that may seem nightmarish enough, what I wake up to these days is generally worse. Trying to work out the 30 some impossible issues at one time in my life. I did get a call from my Dad highlighting each and every one and how screwed I am. Thanks, Dad!!

This leads me to another train of thought.... When you are standing in the store trying to find NOT even the perfect card for someone, but one that merely applies in some small way. They don't make cards that say, "On your birthday, Dad, I am reminded of how you always called to share the negative side of things. Thanks for always showing me how bad it could really be." or "Mom, You have always failed to watch my kids as you have been too busy watching the children of my siblings. Sorry, I will not make it to your adult celebration, I do not have a sitter. Have a wonderful Birthday!".

There are always these cards that make you feel that other people had such a wonderful experience with relatives. The spouse ones are a joke too and I have yet to see one say, "Get off your lazy ass and do something besides watch football". They could even make it sort of nice, like "Even though you never get off your lazy ass and do anything, I will continue to survive this nightmare where you seem perfectly content and I am on the verge of snapping. And I thank you for never noticing that, cause I don't really feel like talking about it anyway. Sigh, Happy Birthday!!"

Okay, yes PMS is brewing and yes, I'm a bit dramatic but it feels good right now.

So, as I do with my greeting selections, I will say "I hope your day is everything you hoped for....." , something generic like that and I will go back to thinking again. I predict I will not be much fun the next few days. Hormones, people, back off!