Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Granny Got Run Over By a Bagger

I took Brooke to school and instead of coming home and playing on the computer for the two and a half hours that she is there, I decided to finally accept that I am a grown up, with grown up responsibilities. I wasted my free time at Krogers buying food for my family.

Before I left, I actually combed my hair, put on a little make-up and tried to look like I gave a damn about what I looked was a merry day at Krogers, the stocking guys were whistling Christmas tunes and I chatted with different ones as I made my way through. I was taking my PMS by the horns and being almost chipper, despite my instinct to make mean faces at anyone that remotely got in my way.

As I was checking out, the cashier lady forgot to add my cigarettes and I was very.."NO problem, don't worry about it" as I smiled and remained pleasant.


A bagger girl. A bad, evil, terrible, ruined my entire life, bagger girl followed me to the car. Kroger does not discriminate against, well, intelligence challenged individuals and have several working as baggers. She is fairly new.

We get to the car and she is sort of just tossing bags into the trunk with groceries falling out everywhere. She noticed some wrapping paper and commented on how pretty it was and asked how many kids I had. I said, "four ", as the bag she was tossing in held several six packs of applesauce that fell over. She saw them and said...are you ready for this?????? "Oh, I see you must have some GRANDCHILDREN too"!!! Me. Grandchildren. Old. Turning forty this year.

I said, "No, that is for MY three year old". Thinking the worst was said, she continued talking. "Oh, YOU don't look like you COULD have a three year old, maybe a three year old GRANDCHILD"!! She said grandchild again!! She accused me of looking old enough to have GRANDCHILDREN!!! Not that at 40 you couldn't have a grandchild, but damn, girl, why you callin' me a grandma and shit??

I am reminded of 2 years ago, getting Ryan's tux when the lady thought I was his sister and my mom was "our" mom. I had on a college hoodie and she was asking me what year I was in. So, I go from college student to GRANDMOTHER is two, god forsaken years??????

There will be no living with me now. This ain't good!!

And that is all I have to say about that.


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