Christmas Check (Yourself In) Lists

It must be about two weeks til Christmas cause I have that "Christmas is almost here severe, anxiety disorder" that I develop every year. The symptoms include making lists, lots and lots of lists, of presents already bought, presents I still have to get, checking account balances added to all projected income I shall receive before the 25th, credit card balances, presents bought again, presents that I need to get again, balances, balances, BALANCES!!

I'm exhausted.

I wake up too early with all the lists and balances ruminating in my head like Chinese water torture and I feel all stressed out and unwell. I get colds, sore throats, muscle tension, chills, hot and cold flashes and your standard "wiggin' out" feelings every few minutes.

Yes. Christmas is joyous, indeed!

I do have moments of intense, real whacked out Christmas pleasure still. Like last night I watched "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" with Brooke and it was the first time she actually had the attention span to really watch it. She was so excited about "dat was Santa when he was a baby" and "Santa bring toys to all the children" and when they do that song "Put One Foot in Front of the Other", she and I danced and walked around the love seat. In fact, she insisted we sing and danced around the love seat "just one more time" for a full 15 minutes after the show had ended.

As she lay in bed, just about ready to fall asleep, she was softly singing to herself, "put one foot and one foot and 'nother" and I just smiled, snuck away and felt total happiness and youthful Christmas excitement. I remembered why I love Christmas so much and then I went to the couch to snuggle in and feel all warm and cozy, then ....

I started making mental lists, lots and lots of lists..............