Monday, November 06, 2006

Just for the Record

(Warning: This post may cause cavities)

I just have to say as I browse through recent titles, that I am not such a downer in real life. I laugh a lot, every single day,about, well, just about everything. But I'm fun. I AM!!

Its seems I use my blog to vent about the things that are wrong and the major thing that is wrong right now is the house and money situation, but my life is so much more than those setbacks.

I have great friends and I love people and people love me back and my kids are fabulous sometimes too. My family is entertaining and my life started in chaos and continues there. It is not always such a bad thing, it feels like home to me by now. I love the constant issues that arise when you have a houseful and even though I bitch about it, I wouldn't really have it any other way. Well, I might opt for a day or two off every year or two, but I fear the quiet would be deafening.

I love that my kids are quirky, goofy and complex even when it feels like hell sometimes. I like spunky and spirited. It keeps life exciting. Being teenagers is a tough business, we have all been there, we just forget sometimes. Ryan only has a few months left as a teenager even!!! It seems I pinch myself daily as I think about him turning 20 and me turning 40 next year.

Speaking of which, VH1 had the top 100 songs of the 80's and "Livin' on a Prayer" was number one!! The number one song when Ryan was born!!! I cannot hear that song without remembering that time in my life, a time when everything changed. He is now the age I was when he was born and I cannot even imagie that. I feel for my 19 year and 11 month old self, not so much for what I missed, but how I could never have imagined how different my life would be from all my friends that were still off at college. But all these years later, I do not feel shorted at all, I just feel blessed.

Love is a funny thing. It changes through the years and romantic love takes a backseat to farmiliarality and a comfort zone, but the love for your children, just as it multiplies for each new life you bring into this world, it deepens over time and becomes the very fiber of your being.

So, even when things are not going so well, I still laugh everyday, love everyday and feel blessed to have all the special people that are in my life. Whether I see or talk to them daily, weekly, or even yearly, they are never far because I think about them all the time and how knowing them has made my life so much richer.

Though I may vent a lot about the bad stuff, I never forget all the wonderful people in my life or the riches I do have that have nothing to do with money at all.


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