Boiling

I thought my lack of overwhelm may have been a good thing, but now I think I am in the stages of grief. I started with denial and now I am in the anger part. BIG TIME.

I am so pissed off right now. Why? I don't know, but WOW, am I ticked. I'm just downright mad. I'm sick and tired of everything and everyone and yet, no one specifically for any real reason.

I was in the car with Bob last night and every single sound he made or movement made me feel like I was fuming even more. I wanted to kill him for clearing his throat and it took every ounce of restraint not to kick him out of the car. When we got to the bar, my parents were there with my sis and her husand and just the fact that I had to try and make conversation made me mad. I tried to answer nicely, but just didn't care about the small talk and the pleasant crap.

I announced that I was a total bitch for no good reason and to please ignore me and better yet, not speak to me at all.

I am starting to get mad that I have to be around someone this angry and am completely sick of myself too. I tried to sit down and figure out what may be causing this and then I started pulling all sorts of reasons out and they were all stupid and all too deep and they pissed me off too. So, I stopped.

They need to have a 12 step program for bitches. "Hi, my name is _____, and I am a total bitch." Then you could sit and tell them about your cruel, aweful attacks on others during bitchy times while the others sat nodding their heads and patting you on the back. Or wait, maybe they would tell you to shut the f up. (It would be a room of bitches trying to reform. They would not all be, like, cured yet, right?)

Then the lead "reformed bitch" would be all, "I was where you are now and look at me.....I have bitched myself into numbness and you can too!" She would tell hideous stories of her past bitchiness and how she started the program to help all the other countless bitches out there to get help and support. It would be cool if it were like the alcoholic thing...like you have to avoid it. "You will always be a bitch, you were predisposed to be one, it is genetic and you must avoid your spouse or anyone else that gets on your flippin' nerves at all cost, because a relapse would be a certainty. Just like a drunk cannot have one drink, you cannot have any contact with the main sources of your bitchiness.".

That leaves me with a very short list.

I like it.