Monday, April 03, 2006

Me, the Un-Informed.

Lately I have noticed that when people start talking about anything going on in the world, current events, the big news stories, the latest bands and songs, and, basically, anything to do with the grown up world....I am clueless.

I did get caught up in the miner story and watched the whole unfolding of "12 are alive" to only one survivor, because I happened to have insomnia that night and I was up all alone, being a grown up. Other than that, I know nothing of the goings on in the world, the hottest new fashion designer and am still quite amazed at the square nail filing of the professional manicure, I still file mine in the oval way, when I get around to it, which isn't often.

Most people are addicted to new shows, as I am watching on demand, viewing episodes of "Sex and the City" for the first time, getting emotionally caught up in the "Big" drama and calling friends to discuss it as they sit thinking that was sooooooooooo three years ago, maybe longer. Remember, I am clueless.

Other people are watching exciting story lines upfold on any number of current shows that I have not seen at all. I am watching "Swiper the fox" steal shit from Dora and Boots, Barney hyponotize very strange and happy children with songs and oozing kindness, and Cookie Monster try to gobble down cookies as they all fly out of his mouth. The last full length feature I watched was the Sponge Bob movie.

Yup, that is the one.
I have a stack of books I want to read and yet all I seem to read these days are stories about dressing yourself, potty training and good manners. Those are the ones with a plot, many are just pictures and shapes that I point to and clap when Brooke recites each one and gets it right. I make up many stories that start with "One upon a time..." and include a beautiful princess named "Brooke" that makes her giggle and clap for me.
I remember when Cassie left for Kindergarten and I was lost. It was the first year in our county that they went to the full day. I was alone from 830am-230pm. I didn't have to read stories, watch cartoons. or make up fairytales. I imagined it being so great, to watch grown up shows, do my errands, get things done around the house, undisturbed. Turns out I didn't have many errands, the grown up shows were less fun and I missed the company. What I thought was freedom was quite lonely instead.
Isn't that always the way? Wherever we are, we looked forward to being somewhere else. When we get somewhere else, we miss where we used to be.
This time around I think I will make an effort to enjoy it more. I have been in the grown up world full-time in the past and it isn't all its cracked up to be, that place where all kids want to go. "I can't wait til I am grown up and can do whatever I want". They never realize how untrue that really is and that you can't skip down the road, roll down a hill or do flips in the front yard anymore. When you have a toddler by your side, all these activities are accpetable again.
So, I may not know what is going on around me all the time, but I can go to the park and swing as high as I want and I can escape to a kinder, happier place and maybe, just maybe, ignorance IS bliss.

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