We could learn a lot from Cesar Millan

The Dog Whisper, the dog psychologist guy, Cesar Millan does not JUST have a good philosophy when it comes to four-legged creatures. His method of "calm assertive" probably could have done wonders to make my kids obey their pack leader...ME!


Cesar takes these dogs of all ages, from puppies to old-timers, establishes his pack leader status within minutes and teaches the dog owner how to use this same technique to undo years of bad doggie behavior. And. It works!!

As a child of parents that were greatly influenced by the 50's, I sort of followed a different opinion on raising my own children. I wanted to be someone they could relate with, talk to easily, feel less controlled by and not feel that they could not have different opinions on things. What this created was not what I guessed it would.

I thought they would look up to me, come to me with problems, seek my experienced advice on any number of subjects and feel more confident because I let them make more decisions than I was ever allowed. Instead, they saw me as an equal, someone they could challenge and at times, disrepect. When you allow any expression, you find out some of those expressions are targeted at you and what they believe, as teenage know-it-alls. They do really THINK they have it all figured out and they KNOW they have you pegged.

In a lack of true leadership, such as in a pack of dogs, there will be a battle for it. If someone does not, without a shadow of a doubt, declare and follow through on being the leader, the pack will turn on your weaknesses and pretty soon, you are dethroned. That is what happens when you try to have a "friend relationship" with your kids that allows too much tolerance, too much expression and too much leverage. When you come from a place of total control and you are given your thoughts instead of being free to make them on your own, you never imagine that the one thing you wanted to do differently for your children could be just as big as a mistake to the extreme other side.

I am a people watcher and I like to watch the way others handle situations and I see many parents that get it wrong, but have been lucky to see a few that totally get it right. Why wasn't I paying attention to this before I needed to use it??

I see parents plead and scream at their kids trying to get them to do something while the kids completely ignore then, disobey them, taunt them and giggle all the while. I see other parents that call a child off a swing set, and though you see that tiny flash of disappoint at it being time to go, they obey. I watch these parents that use that "calm assertive" thing, that thing I never really caught on to, that thing that genetically missed the target with me completely.

I wonder if Cesar would be willing to work with teenage humans and work some of his magic on this old dog. I could use a few new tricks.