Thursday, August 02, 2007

Holding Unsteady

It has been awhile. I still do not have the pictures developed from the grad party. Too much happens....always.

I have avoided writing because when so much is going on, you become so philosophical and within yourself, what you say may become evidence for a commitment, and not the romantic kind.

I really like my job, though I am rarely there. The big move of combining offices that was to happen in July hasn't. Then it was to be August 1st. Nope. Now they are hoping the one guy trying to remodel the whole 5th floor with be done before Halloween. This leaves me with about 5-15 hours a week and I am actually off for 9 straight days, cause doctors like to play tennis and golf in the summer and they all picked the same two weeks.

I never thought I would want to be full-time, in the grind of it all, but now I do. I feel purposeful there and even appreciated. It isn't that I am not purposeful at home, but it rarely feels that way. It feels more like a chore...hundreds of 'em, even. The appreciation part-lacking greatly, almost like non-existent. Well, not almost.

Brooke is doing great with the adventures she goes on one or two days a week with Mamaw and Pappa. She went to Kennywood yesterday. I appreciate that they still have an inability to stay at home, because lately, all my days off are carting Cassie somewhere and, other than the fair, I haven't taken her too many places in the last few weeks.

Ryan has an apartment in Washington now. He signed the lease yesterday and I'm trying to pretend I am not completely traumatized. I can't wait to go set it all up and put my control freak ways to good use, but driving away to go back home, leaving my prince in his "new place"......ouch.

Travis is doing well in school and spending his grad money at a rapid speed. His latest expense is something I am trying to talk him out of, but it is Travis, and when his mind is set, it NEVER changes. I have my steps with him perfected....discuss, try to sway, grieve silently, accept.

Cassie is still Cassie, always into one thing or another..constant drama. Her room is horrifying and, though my teenage bedroom could not compare, I think it falls into that "I hope you grow up and have a kid that acts just like you" curse that your mom throws on you. My mom must be extra good with curses because every small issue I ever gave her, I am getting back tenfold. If I am as skilled on the curse, Cassie should never have a daughter. NEVER.


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