Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Selling a Home, Enter Nervous Breakdown.

Getting a home ready to be shown is so stressful. I see every tiny, little flaw everywhere, inside and out. I walk through each room, mentally noting that I must repair that or redo this until the list has become a revolving nightmare in my head that plays all day and night.

I feel so preoccupied all the time. I wanted to do so much more for curb appeal, but damn, I'm out of motivation, inspiration and cash. I was watching HGTV and they said to look at your property and see what it says and make necessary changes to really make a statement. My dead grass, broken railing, non-landscaped property right now screams, "RUN!!". I can't perform miracles here, but I hope to do just a little so it says, "Well, maybe..let's check out the inside.".

Ugh, the thought of being judged,the people that will look just for curiosity, the fact that people will hate your decorating, your choice of color and style, and your unfinished basement. Can I handle that kind of rejection? Why do I care so much?

The inside is coming along, but far from the perfect picture I hoped to create. Everytime I improve one thing, it makes all the other stuff look bad, thus making me constantly have to do more. I'm tired, people. So, tired. So stressed out. I just want to be done with all this already and move on. It is too hard and too much work. Did I mention how tired and stressed out I am?

I wake up every morning with this jittery, nervous feeling anticipating what is left to be completed, the work that lies ahead, the fear of not being able to even sell the house, the fear of hating the new place and that my kids will someday resent me for not being the perfect mom...wait, that is from another series of nightmarish worries. See, it is all becoming a blur now. Help!

The owner and, gulp, relative, that we are buying from calls daily to let me know she may not be able to wash down the walls or get out some old appliances or have it cleared completely. I just picture walking into a 1500 sq ft garbage can and old appliance graveyard. I'm cracking, I tell ya, totally cracking!

**Breathing** Okay all this talk is stressing me out even more. All I can hope for now is that my next residence is her house and not a sterile,white environment with needles and straightjackets.

It will be a close call.


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