Wednesday, February 01, 2006

I Am, Therefore I Nag

To the uninformed observer, we women can seem like real nags. We nag our husbands and children about doing this, picking up that, taking care of their things and so on. We walk around filled with resentment and acting like total bitches, but there are two sides to every story and this is our's. ( And by the way, we win).

We are completely held responsible for the cleanliness of our home, the behavior of our children and the neverending list of chores and responsibilities that come along with those and everything else. Our brains are jam packed with information about doctor and denist appointments, birthdays, everyone's favorite dish, the food each member of the house dislikes, every pressing issue for every single person we come in contact with, the due date of each and every bill, the fact that three of those bills will be late this month, how we are going to work all that out and a gazillion other things as well.

You would think carrying the world on your shoulders would make others see that you could use a little support or help. Nothing could be further from the reality of the situation. Our husbands and children can ask for anything at all to put more obligations our way, but if we do the same it then falls under the catagory of "nagging". We are total, naggy, cranky-ass bitches. The entire house will feel this way and act shocked that we have anything to be stressed about at all.

Our work is "expected". Anything they do is considered extraordinary. Good example: We go to an picnic for the day. I take care of the baby and any request from my kids for more corn on the cob or whatever. Bob sits with a group of guys and drinks beer. If I ask for anything at all from him, it is "poor Bob", she is such a nag. So, asking for help is out, doing everything all day is overlooked, but let him jump up once during that 10 hour day and change a diaper and he is praised by all, I am told how lucky I am and he is the hero. At the end of the day, we are driving home with him all relaxed and buzzed and me completely worn out. He will then have the nerve to ask with annoyance, at my obvious tiredness, "What the hell is wrong with YOU??". I reply, "I'm just tired.". Which I feel is quite nice considering I want to say, "I hate your lazy ass, you selfish prick." and I am hit with a long , disgusted sigh and a "You are ALWAYS tired, geesh".

The kids learn well by example and treat me with the same attitude. Once after cleaning the entire house, grocery shopping and spending half the day on a big dinner, I ask Bob, who laid on the couch watching tv for eight straight hours, to throw in a load of towels. He actually does it and then loads the dishwasher after dinner. My oldest son, Ryan, then says outloud even, "I don't want to get married and be told what to do all day, Bob has to do EVERYTHING.". Gulp, check my pulse, I think I am having a coronary!!!

Nagging is a direct result of lazy people being too stupid to actually do anything unless asked. So, why do we get the bad rap??? Sometimes I give up and just decide to be on strike for a day as the mess piles up all around me. Bob will then comment that I have not done a thing all day and he had to do everything to which I reply, "Wow, you really suck at it then, cause this place looks like shit.".

Turn around is fair play.


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