I am Going to Quit Smoking..........

With all the commercials, state laws, ugly, funky lung pictures, Oprah shows, and so on, I have decided that smoking is so NOT cool anymore. It also doesn't help that many people around me have been successful in quitting, thus trying (quite obviously) to make me look bad.

I always planned to quit when things in my life became less stressful, but that plan is totally failing cause, like, that never happens. So, now I have to try and do it anyway. Hold on, let me sit back, light one and ponder this a moment...........

Okay, much better.

Now there are several, quite obvious, reasons to quit. I cannot argue with that, but I still might. It just feels like breaking up with the love of my life. They have been with me through everything the last twelve years. They are always there for me, they calm me down, hype me up, and help me not be constipated. (Yeah, I agree, too much info.)

I have to pick a quitting date, cause that is the hip thing to do now. I was thinking about February 17th, my birthday. I have not yet decided which year, but I may shoot for this one. It seemed like a nice birthday gift to myself, but now it seems like the shittiest gift even, so don't hold me to that date. We move the following week and that seems like a high nicotine type activity. Geeze, if it is this hard picking a date for me, can you imagine actually not smoking anymore???

Dr Phil says you must replace a bad habit with something if you want to be successful. I can't think of a single thing I could do once an hour for five to ten minutes. Ugh, this is too hard!

I will be so unbelievably intolerable, and while that is not so much of a change, I can see myself calling people to talk about not smoking. It will be like breaking up with your soulmate in seventh grade, the peak of puppy love obsession. Maybe I should name them George or something. "I miss George. I remember the first time George and I created a head buzz together. George was so easy going, so available. There will never be another like George. Oh, Godddddddddddd!! George!!!!!!!!!!!". (falls on ground, weeping).

Maybe I should rethink this. I'll get back to ya.