Saturday, April 29, 2006

Speaking of Travis

Travis is very independant. I think he developed this as strategy to be different from Ryan. When I ask if I can make him something to eat or help with with something he will respond with "I can do that for myself". His tone is one that puts special emphasis on the "I" and leads you to the conclusion that others, such as his siblings, can not and more importantly, will not.
He wants to make his own sandwich, clean his own room, buy his own stuff, wire up his own speakers and sit in his room, in the quiet, watching what he wants to watch. His complete opposite ways of Ryan, who will follow me from room to room whining over and over, "Mom, I'm hungry" or call me on the home phone from his cell, while we are all in the house, to request that or something else, is the way he makes a total contrast between the two.
I worry about him. I try to tell him he doesn't have to do everything on his own and that accepting help is good at times. I do see signs of small resentment but he sets it up that way. Though I do try and seek him out, praise him, slip him extra money and invite him to join me in activities, he declines most of the time, but then can act like he is invisible to me when it serves a purpose or he wants something.
We all have our manipulative ways and as they go, his are pretty minor. He just missed the boat on whining for things. You know, the squeaky wheel thing. Life can be unfair that way, cause usually the most undeserving get what they want cause you just want them to shut up about it already. That is why I slip him the extra cash when I can.
His one major fallback is when he does, on the rare occasion, ask me for something. It is not a sandwich or anything remotely doable. He will bring me a picture of a dirt bike, a quad or a car for sale and ask if I can get it for him. Huh??? Has he detached himself so much that he doesn't know that there is no way I could possibly come up with the money or credit to buy such things?? I tell him I wish that I could so badly, but I just can't afford it. He walks away quietly, but visibly upset, hurt, deprived. Can you say "knife through a mommy's heart"???


He and Kelly have dated for a few years now and from what I can see about their relationship, I might be able to learn a few things from them. No matter what they decide to do, they are supportive of one another and never say a bad word about the other, not EVER. Maybe that is his way to contrast me and Bob..........
He is not perfect, but who is, who would want to be? He can be moody, have attitude and be hard to communicate with at times. But he does it quietly and it is appreciated, trust me!
He is well-liked by everyone, they requested by phone his return to camp before applications were even being made available because he was such a good worker and the kids loved him, he is creative and he is thoughtful and generous when you least expect it.
Thought I write less about him, it is merely because he contributes less drama than anyone else in the house. Someday I would love to reward him with one of those requests!

1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

5:52 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home