Yesterday, I Cried.

It was officially yesterday because it is 12:48am. I cried over breakfast, lunch and dinner, I cried in the bathroom, living room, bedroom and rec room, I cried any place I could find a place to cry in private. When everyone was home in the evening and all the rooms were occupied, I went to my car and cried. And cried and cried and cried.

When I returned from my ride of crying, I went to the living room to lay down and cried some more. There was no stopping it. I was filled to the brim, overflowing in emotion. Then I remembered something, some very vague memory I saw on Oprah. An Africian American woman that used to appear when Oprah was just starting all her spirit stuff. She talked or wrote about crying, or something like that.................

I searched, but could not satisfy google with my very general search phases. I went to a TV trivial chat and asked if anyone knew her name, as I again fired off very vague information. Someone got the right answer!! I knew the name as soon as I saw it and I found her poem..........

Yesterday I Cried

Yesterday, I cried.I came home, went straight to my room, sat on the edge of my bed,kicked off my shoes, unhooked my bra,and I had myself a good cry.I cried until my nose was running all over the silk blouse I got on sale.I cried until my ears were hot.I cried until my head was hurting so bad that I could hardly see the pile of soiled tissues lying on the floor at my feet.I want you to understand,I had myself a really good cry yesterday.

Yesterday, I cried,

for all the days that I was too busy, or too tired, or too mad to cry. I cried for all the days, and all the ways, and all the times I had dishonored, disrespected,and disconnected my Self from myself,only to have it reflected back to me in the ways others did to me the same things I had already done to myself.

I cried for all the things I had given, only to have them stolen;for all the things I had asked for that had yet to show up;for all the things I had accomplished, only to give them away,to people in circumstances, which left me feeling empty, and battered and plain old used.

I cried because there really does come a time when the only thing left for you to do is cry.

Yesterday, I cried.

I cried because little boys get left by their daddies;and little girls get forgotten by their mommies;and daddies don't know what to do, so they leave;and mommies get left, so they get mad.I cried because I had a little boy,and because I was a little girl, and because I was a mommy who didn't know what to do,and because I wanted my daddy to be there so badly until I ached

Yesterday, I cried.

I cried because I hurt. I cried because I was hurt.I cried because hurt has no place to go except deeper into the pain that caused it in the first place,and when it gets there, the hurt wakes you up. I cried because it was too late. I cried because it was time.I cried because my soul knew that I didn't know that my soul knew everything that I needed to know.I cried a soulful cry yesterday, and it felt so good.

It felt so very, very bad. In the midst of my crying, I felt my freedom coming,

Because...Yesterday, I cried with an agenda....

Iyanla Vanzant

So, anyway. I found it and there it is and why it was important to find and then bore you with is beyond me. But, boy, I had myself a good cry.