Embarrassing your Kids: Fun or Just Plain Sad?
Last evening we went to see Ryan play in a passing scrimmage. He is so sensitive to my presense anywhere, mostly because I act a fool and embarrass him. It only leaves me one choice in the matter. To act a fool and embarrass him. Not always. I can play grown up too, but they seem to sense my mood and when it is necessary to be on guard for my weirdness.
After the game he was calling up to me in the stands with his favorite whiny comment, " Moooooooooom, I'm hungryyyyyyy!" I told him to throw me the ball if he wanted to eat. He was stupid enough to actually do it. Then he stood there waiting for me to throw it back so he could take it to the locker room and clean up to go out to eat. Silly boy, it isn't that easy. I must fake throw it 10 times and annoy the living shit out of you and then you will get disgusted and walk off. Then and only,then, will I toss the ball your way.
Where did I get this need to torment people and why do I feel I must do it for my own amusement? Maybe it was all the encouragement they gave me when they were young and less likely to be humiliated. We would ride through town and they would beg me to turn up the music, roll down the window, and dance and sing loudly as I drove by people. I was only too happy to do this for them, because I am strange like that. It was hilarious to them until they turned about 10, then I became the biggest source of their embarrassment. You can't encourage behavior that someone finds completing entertaining and then try to pull it away from them when it suits you. Doesn't work that way, my dear children.
Of course I am a complete hypocrit when they are tormenting one another and someone truly gets frustrated beyond belief during the process. I always tell them that when you think you are having fun, but someone else is crying or miserable...it is n NOT fun anymore, so STOP!!
Ryan wasn't crying though and he was merely bordering on misery, so I was within my limits, I guess.
The only issue with it was that when we went to dinner, he mostly acted annoyed by me even when my tormenting stopped three seconds prior to being seated and I wanted to be serious. There lies the sad part. If you piss someone off enough, they are less likely to agree to play nice when you have finished.
As I dropped him off at the dorm, asking if I could come up and clean up, he said , "No!". I hugged him and told him I loved him. He hugged me back and said he loved me too, but in a very "roll his eyes, leave now", kind of way.
As we pulled away I saw a boy struggling to unlock the door with a giant basket of folded laundry as Ryan was walking up behind him. I yelled out the window, "Other boys actually do their OWN laundry here??" He turned and yelled as we drove off, "I can do laundry!! Geezeeeeeeeeeee!!!"
I get this funny feeling he was glad I was leaving. And just beyond my hysterical laughing, I did feel slightly bad. I questioned my behavior, wondering if it was time to slow down on the tormenting where he was concerned, but then I realized........nah, he makes it too fun.
After the game he was calling up to me in the stands with his favorite whiny comment, " Moooooooooom, I'm hungryyyyyyy!" I told him to throw me the ball if he wanted to eat. He was stupid enough to actually do it. Then he stood there waiting for me to throw it back so he could take it to the locker room and clean up to go out to eat. Silly boy, it isn't that easy. I must fake throw it 10 times and annoy the living shit out of you and then you will get disgusted and walk off. Then and only,then, will I toss the ball your way.
Where did I get this need to torment people and why do I feel I must do it for my own amusement? Maybe it was all the encouragement they gave me when they were young and less likely to be humiliated. We would ride through town and they would beg me to turn up the music, roll down the window, and dance and sing loudly as I drove by people. I was only too happy to do this for them, because I am strange like that. It was hilarious to them until they turned about 10, then I became the biggest source of their embarrassment. You can't encourage behavior that someone finds completing entertaining and then try to pull it away from them when it suits you. Doesn't work that way, my dear children.
Of course I am a complete hypocrit when they are tormenting one another and someone truly gets frustrated beyond belief during the process. I always tell them that when you think you are having fun, but someone else is crying or miserable...it is n NOT fun anymore, so STOP!!
Ryan wasn't crying though and he was merely bordering on misery, so I was within my limits, I guess.
The only issue with it was that when we went to dinner, he mostly acted annoyed by me even when my tormenting stopped three seconds prior to being seated and I wanted to be serious. There lies the sad part. If you piss someone off enough, they are less likely to agree to play nice when you have finished.
As I dropped him off at the dorm, asking if I could come up and clean up, he said , "No!". I hugged him and told him I loved him. He hugged me back and said he loved me too, but in a very "roll his eyes, leave now", kind of way.
As we pulled away I saw a boy struggling to unlock the door with a giant basket of folded laundry as Ryan was walking up behind him. I yelled out the window, "Other boys actually do their OWN laundry here??" He turned and yelled as we drove off, "I can do laundry!! Geezeeeeeeeeeee!!!"
I get this funny feeling he was glad I was leaving. And just beyond my hysterical laughing, I did feel slightly bad. I questioned my behavior, wondering if it was time to slow down on the tormenting where he was concerned, but then I realized........nah, he makes it too fun.
posted by Sunny at Thursday, May 11, 2006
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