Friday, July 21, 2006

Can We Get A Little Snow, Please?

Ugh. This humidity is killin' me! It is making me look, oh, so forward to, fall. The air is so thick and icky and it makes my chest feel all heavy....hate it!! Sometimes I find myself in fantasies of playing in the snow, building snowmen and sled riding. I think the heat is making me go insane.

Speaking of insane, I feel "not so great" lately. Mentally and physically, I just feel down, yet anxious. I am all overwhelmed with nothing and I want to be alone, but I don't want to be alone. Just a horrible rut sort of feeling, sprinkled with a bit of anger and a touch of resentment. I just get tired of my "every silver lining has a cloud" existance.

I am still not smoking, sort of. I have a half before bed and I did find myself lighting up a few times this week for a puff or two, but maybe 5 whole cigs in week. When you consider that in a week I could have easily smoked 210 plus...I still feel pretty good about that. I am commited to not going back to a pack and a half and then some, habit. I really feel like I can do that, but for now I need a little hit now and again.

Next project, eat healthy. Give me a few weeks though..............

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