Smokin'

My plan was set in motion. I would stop smoking and start working out and the only thing "smokin" about me would be my body. Instead I now eat breakfast and lunch, which I used to smoke cigarettes for, and I eat dinner too early and cap it all off with an evening snack of ice cream or some other unhealthly treat, like chips or spoonfuls of chocolate icing.

I guess that is to be expected at first and being that I am having an extra special, bleed to death period, I should cut myself some slack ....and maybe dig out some fat pants. Why does it always have to be that way? Give up one negative and another takes its place.

I wanted to start walking at night and I did a bit last night but the humidity was so horrible that it hurt to breath out there, so I ran back into my air conditioning, ordered a moolatte and sat on my ass drinking it. Next plan..."Stop eating, you piggy!!!!" and "Exercise!! Oink, Oink!!"

The lack of sleep is catching up with me too. I am constantly tired and I am still not actually sleeping more than two hours straight, but it has changed in the sense that I actually have lost some of the hyperness and feel really run down from it all. Before I was just high on hyper and did not really suffer much from the exhaustion part.

I cannot underestimate the power of Cassie, and the fact that she is now home, which makes me tired all by itself. She was not in the door five minutes when we started our ranting back and forth. Her drama, her fits for no reason, her tormenting of anyone and everyone, her loud, LOUD voice and her strange teenage attire is just too much to cope with most of the time.

Breath...........Brooke is up, I can do this.