Horoscope
I used to be a horoscope ho. I had to look in the paper each day to see what was in store for me the next day, as though it would actually happen. You know, that zillions of Aquarians just like me would all have a "romantic encounter with a special somebody from your past". Yeah, it could happen. Not.
But, my friend was talking about how her horoscopes, lately, have been dead on and it made me do a horoscope search of my own today. This is what I found:
"Today may give you reason for reevaluation, even if you are on the right track. You are looking at your current situation and attaching feelings to it that resonate with your own personal history. Your practice today is to accept the messages coming from your own subconscious mind. Then talk about them, even if the thought of sharing some of these things out loud makes you uncomfortable."
I don't even know what exactly to make of it and what it even means, but, damn, it is so describing my mind of late and things I have said recently too. As I have, out of the blue, decided to quit smoking, just on a whim, and how I have been saying that something in me feels like the past, like an old me I thought was gone forever and how I just feel like my subconscious is trying to break out with some giant revelation...it all seems to strangely "fit" into this vague, but not so vague, horoscope.
I don't know. It could be my raging PMS or my lack of nicotine, but something big is happening and on the other side of it all, is major change. It is nothing so much external, but the internal part, that is all swishing about and reconfiguring. I remember times in my life where I knew I was in the grips of change and part of it felt exciting and part of it felt like leaving something behind. I have so much to leave behind internally, so, sooooooooooo much, that over the last few years have not served me well at all.
Sometimes we hang on to the "crap", that emotional baggage that is torturous, but so familiar that it wraps around you like your favorite blankie and makes you never want to let go, no matter how deperately you need to let go, for your own sake. Other times, you feel yourself letting go, even if you are not quite sure what you are actually letting go of, you just know you are. Does any of this make sense? Maybe not, but somehow it does to me.
It is not just a new chapter starting, but a whole new book and this time I want more writing privledges and I want to make more of my own calls and less of doing what I "should" do or what is expected of me to do. I finally feel like I am in a place to do it. Win, lose or draw, I'm ready to take the chance.
Now, that feels BIG! Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes, turn and face the strain.........
But, my friend was talking about how her horoscopes, lately, have been dead on and it made me do a horoscope search of my own today. This is what I found:
"Today may give you reason for reevaluation, even if you are on the right track. You are looking at your current situation and attaching feelings to it that resonate with your own personal history. Your practice today is to accept the messages coming from your own subconscious mind. Then talk about them, even if the thought of sharing some of these things out loud makes you uncomfortable."
I don't even know what exactly to make of it and what it even means, but, damn, it is so describing my mind of late and things I have said recently too. As I have, out of the blue, decided to quit smoking, just on a whim, and how I have been saying that something in me feels like the past, like an old me I thought was gone forever and how I just feel like my subconscious is trying to break out with some giant revelation...it all seems to strangely "fit" into this vague, but not so vague, horoscope.
I don't know. It could be my raging PMS or my lack of nicotine, but something big is happening and on the other side of it all, is major change. It is nothing so much external, but the internal part, that is all swishing about and reconfiguring. I remember times in my life where I knew I was in the grips of change and part of it felt exciting and part of it felt like leaving something behind. I have so much to leave behind internally, so, sooooooooooo much, that over the last few years have not served me well at all.
Sometimes we hang on to the "crap", that emotional baggage that is torturous, but so familiar that it wraps around you like your favorite blankie and makes you never want to let go, no matter how deperately you need to let go, for your own sake. Other times, you feel yourself letting go, even if you are not quite sure what you are actually letting go of, you just know you are. Does any of this make sense? Maybe not, but somehow it does to me.
It is not just a new chapter starting, but a whole new book and this time I want more writing privledges and I want to make more of my own calls and less of doing what I "should" do or what is expected of me to do. I finally feel like I am in a place to do it. Win, lose or draw, I'm ready to take the chance.
Now, that feels BIG! Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes, turn and face the strain.........
posted by Sunny at Monday, July 17, 2006
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