No Pass Zone
As women, we all know what is like to be around a sleazy, grabbing, touchy, feely slimeball. We have been standing, innocently enough, in a bar or at a dance and had the unwanted advance that went way too far. It could be a comment whispered in your ear, a grab to an inappropiate area, cat calls, or any number of actions that make you feel violated and just plain icked out.
Since these passes and advances are made, mostly, by the opposite sex you feel vunerable at times because you get that fear that you may not be able to defend against them if the drunk, sleazy guy snaps out and decides to go even further. Someone may have to walk you to your car or walk you home for protection.
Men rarely get to experience this fear and need for protection. If they are being hit on in a strong and relentless way, it is not a problem in the same way. Basically, if the girl is hot, they sleep with her, mental illness and obsession are not a drawback when they can get off and if she isn't hot, a bj might be a possibility...if the interest is just not there, they don't have to worry that it will be taken, because they can defend themselves against the girl and never need someone to get them safely home or to their car.
So, this weekend the tables were turned a bit. Bob was hit on by an aggressive, relentless man that whispered a proposition in his ear, while running his hand along his inner thigh, pulling back with a suck of the earlobe and possibly a kiss on the neck.....it got fuzzy from pure disbelief on his end. You would think that alone would make a straight guy wig out and just knock this guy across the room, but circumstances ( me being longtime friends with the group) made him hold back and just leave the situation.
When we got outside he was a mess, had a deer in headlights look, a shakiness about him and he was up to his ears in the ick of it all. He felt violated and assaulted. I felt bad for him, especially when he woke up later in a nightmare where he was being raped and held down by men. It really shook him. Maybe too many prison movies in his memory banks, but part of me felt so sorry for him and yet a tiny, little part of me felt like maybe he could see it from a girl's prospective now.
Either way, he rested quietly most of the day and seemed less traumatized by the day's end, but I think he secretly replays it again and again and wants a "do over".
One that would leave no doubt that he was not only, not interested, but violently opposed.
I was as sensitive as I could be and only tormented him, like, every other time I saw him...which I thought showed great restraint.
Since these passes and advances are made, mostly, by the opposite sex you feel vunerable at times because you get that fear that you may not be able to defend against them if the drunk, sleazy guy snaps out and decides to go even further. Someone may have to walk you to your car or walk you home for protection.
Men rarely get to experience this fear and need for protection. If they are being hit on in a strong and relentless way, it is not a problem in the same way. Basically, if the girl is hot, they sleep with her, mental illness and obsession are not a drawback when they can get off and if she isn't hot, a bj might be a possibility...if the interest is just not there, they don't have to worry that it will be taken, because they can defend themselves against the girl and never need someone to get them safely home or to their car.
So, this weekend the tables were turned a bit. Bob was hit on by an aggressive, relentless man that whispered a proposition in his ear, while running his hand along his inner thigh, pulling back with a suck of the earlobe and possibly a kiss on the neck.....it got fuzzy from pure disbelief on his end. You would think that alone would make a straight guy wig out and just knock this guy across the room, but circumstances ( me being longtime friends with the group) made him hold back and just leave the situation.
When we got outside he was a mess, had a deer in headlights look, a shakiness about him and he was up to his ears in the ick of it all. He felt violated and assaulted. I felt bad for him, especially when he woke up later in a nightmare where he was being raped and held down by men. It really shook him. Maybe too many prison movies in his memory banks, but part of me felt so sorry for him and yet a tiny, little part of me felt like maybe he could see it from a girl's prospective now.
Either way, he rested quietly most of the day and seemed less traumatized by the day's end, but I think he secretly replays it again and again and wants a "do over".
One that would leave no doubt that he was not only, not interested, but violently opposed.
I was as sensitive as I could be and only tormented him, like, every other time I saw him...which I thought showed great restraint.
posted by Sunny at Monday, July 24, 2006
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home