2010

This is year is going well so far and not for the reasons one would normally think.. I am in still in near financial disaster, my car broke down, I have had to have a handful of tests(with no results yet), but its just better because I'm handling it.

PMS is coming up, so I realize this will all feel much worse in the following days, but at least I can identify why. I just feel more hopeul this year and ready to face things more, things I have avoided facing for too long. Nothing so mysterious really, just daily junk.

I'm thankful for the people that choice to show up in my life everyday and for the support they give me. I'm lucky to have them. I'm accepting of those that don't because we all have our own road to walk down and we need diferent things at different times. Its all okay.

Last night we had a disaster of a sleepover and I was trembling by the time the child actually left at 11pm. I was certain I was going to need medical attention, it was so stressful for so many hours and we were feeling bad about ending it, but then the point came, and not nearly soon enough, to say "enough is enough!". There are things I need to say to those parents and I should of said them before, but my anger was never in the right place. It was either too high or too calmed down to really let them know what I was thinking and what I will tolerate from this day forward. I plan on calling today with the right amount of assertiveness to not appear to be a bully towards their child, but to not excuse they hideous behavior anymore.

I think I will get on that right now.